I just finished reading this and found it the best thing I have read in a while and wanted to share if I can, hope it helps someone else.
http://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.com/2010/05/why-your-thoughts-are-lies.html
http://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.com/2010/01/lies-and-lying-liars-who-tell-them.html
http://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.com/2010/08/creating-door-to-your-future.html
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Still here
I am still here wondering where it all went so wrong. Try as hard as I can to move on it just seems to linger. I live with the hope that a new day brings with it new hope of answers. He says he loves me, I believe him. He has shown me in many ways a new man and tries harder each day to prove to me his love. But the things I still need are answers or at best the effort to try to find them.
He does not search the Internet for ways to understand me/women in general or my feelings the way I do to understand him/men in general. The things I have read, twist me. I feel I have done so much wrong and it is also my fault he cheated. He does know my looks very well and has most of them down to the letter. It amazes me the way he does this. I believe the way he understands me maybe the way he wants to be understood and I feel the same way towards him. Neither of us are wrong in this but I think we both need to at least see the others side.
If I could just let go. Really let go of this and live as if we just met, it may be different. But how do you just start over when you can't let go of the pain they have caused by being selfish. Yes, Selfish is what it takes to cheat and not think of the one you hurt. We have talked about this and he admitted it was selfish and has apologized.
He seems sincere and has cried several times when we talk. I don't believe he would do this just to fool me. I believe him but still who wants to be taken for the fool again. I forgave him months ago for the infidelity but I can get past the fact that we haven't talked about it the way I need to. Maybe he doesn't need to talk about it and can move on this way but I can't and isn't it about what we both need to move on that matters?
I have met his needs when he asked for changes in our marriage, so why can't he just give a little my way? I know I have not handled this the best way from the start but I have opened up to him honestly and tell him how I feel and why. I don't believe he really hears me! I just want to be heard...... am I wrong here?
He does not search the Internet for ways to understand me/women in general or my feelings the way I do to understand him/men in general. The things I have read, twist me. I feel I have done so much wrong and it is also my fault he cheated. He does know my looks very well and has most of them down to the letter. It amazes me the way he does this. I believe the way he understands me maybe the way he wants to be understood and I feel the same way towards him. Neither of us are wrong in this but I think we both need to at least see the others side.
If I could just let go. Really let go of this and live as if we just met, it may be different. But how do you just start over when you can't let go of the pain they have caused by being selfish. Yes, Selfish is what it takes to cheat and not think of the one you hurt. We have talked about this and he admitted it was selfish and has apologized.
He seems sincere and has cried several times when we talk. I don't believe he would do this just to fool me. I believe him but still who wants to be taken for the fool again. I forgave him months ago for the infidelity but I can get past the fact that we haven't talked about it the way I need to. Maybe he doesn't need to talk about it and can move on this way but I can't and isn't it about what we both need to move on that matters?
I have met his needs when he asked for changes in our marriage, so why can't he just give a little my way? I know I have not handled this the best way from the start but I have opened up to him honestly and tell him how I feel and why. I don't believe he really hears me! I just want to be heard...... am I wrong here?
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