Things slowed down

When he finally opened up, he talked very little about his infidelity. That was the only time we really talked about it. Some small things from time to time but not much more. What he shared was more than I would have imagined. I process things so slow, that in time I had more questions and even less courage to talk about it.

We have been spending so much more time with each other in a more personal way than we ever have. We have also become more aware of what we say to each other and how we say things. Communication is way more complicated than one would think. It doesn't take much to hit a nerve with one word and turn something in the wrong direction.

I am afraid of rocking the boat we are on, it has been so much better than it has ever been. Bringing the subject up seems to be harder with time. I have read things about not asking, wait for him to open up in his time, giving him a safe place for him to talk. I have also read - ask every thing you need to know but think about it, do you really want to know this and how much will it help or hurt you to know.

I wonder where is my safe place? It's gone. Then there is this one - remain calm and listen. Your heart is ripped out, world turned upside down and you remain calm. How does that happen? Do they know what you are going thru? Do they research how to understand you and how to open up and how you will fall apart and allow you to?

They panic when you show emotions, so how do you get thru this with out emotions. My best advice, the best you can. I have done so many of the wrong things and some right things. But I remain me by being and doing the best I can under the circumstances. You have to decide what you can and can't deal with. Weather you can go on with what you know and how much your marriage is worth to you.

I remain on the fence on several issues but I am not giving up yet. I can't, we are all only human and make mistakes. With that said. Time is the only way I will ever know where I stand. There are to many unanswered questions to make a life long decision now.

They say time heals all wounds, so lets see.